DMV (Department of Mistreated Vajayjay's)

      So after the initial confirmation of several pregnancy tests, it was time to make my first official OBGYN appointment to find out just how far along I was. Seemed easy enough. So just like any other unknown, I asked some friends for referrals that had similar insurance coverage as myself. It would be safe to assume that my friends who had children probably would be able to provide the best information....HA! The first two places I called didn't want to see me because they said unless I was at least a certain amount of weeks, they couldn't book me. Umm...isn't that what I am trying to figure out? So I finally just picked one randomly. I think I could have pinned a random selection on the wall, blindfolded myself,  played pin the tail on the gynecologist and  found a better choice than the one I was about to experience. 

     I walked into the doctor office with a waiting room full of women, some with babies, some whom looked ready to deliver right then and there, and some who just looked dazed and confused. I apparently was in the right place. I filled out my initial paperwork and was called into the back. Now I think in most cases it would be safe to assume I would be taken into a private room, questioned by a nice and caring nurse (as this was a special time in my life) and then have my vitals checked before seeing the doctor. Instead I was seated in a general "common" area where other women were having their blood drawn, vitals taken and a decorative line of pee filled cups strewn the counter tops. A rather heavy set nurse approached me, handed me a cup and pointed to the restroom. Sigh! So warm and welcoming already!
 Once returning back to the "common area" I waited as a second nurse, who also failed to introduce herself started to take my vitals. Now for me, needles are not really my fondest moment. I like to know when one is coming, who is going to be using the weapon against me, and I like to have to time to get acclimated with the idea that part of my internals are going to be on the external. I know, I am a little extreme when it comes to blood being drawn. I could tell this nurse was going for the all the usual suspects... alcohol...check...cotton swab...check...rubber band...check. Before she even reached for the fresh needle packet I asked her "Do you need to take my blood today, and right here? Can I at least go into a private room?" 

The constant traffic back and forth, not to mention the eyes glaring around the room were already putting me on edge. 
"No mam, and if you don't like needles you better get used to them now because you will have your blood drawn a lot during pregnancy."  

   What?! No one warned me about this part! I must have called upon the God's on this day because the nurse was suddenly approached by another nurse who instructed her of a patient who needed assistance. I was instructed to sit back in the waiting room for a few more minutes. YES!! This was my time to escape. Don't think the idea didn't cross my mind but I hesitantly decided to wait, I needed to get this over with and then I could just find another office. I was called back into the patient area within a few minutes, this time to be escorted into a private room. Maybe they saw the panic in my eyes and read my mind! I was told to change into my paper napkin gown and the doctor would be in shortly. Once I was stripped down, sitting on the infamous crinkle paper bed with my stylish napkin top and skirt on, the doctor came in, introduced herself and wasted no time in getting me set up for my cervical exam. Oh, Goodie. She hasn't even bought me dinner or asked me out for a cocktail and I am about to let her explore the goods. Let me just put this short and sweet, it wasn't all unicorns and glitter and very uncomfortable...but I do have to say she was finished very quickly. She advised me I could change back into my clothing just before exiting the door, to which I got a half turn back "Oh did you have any questions?" Ummm..no? I was so thrown off by the lack of care or concern I didn't even know if I had questions. Of course I had questions, I had millions of questions but obviously, this wasn't the place to answer them. 

    After regaining my composure I then proceeded back to the common area. I swear it feels like they should be handing out numbers while a digital screen calls you to the next nurse. I truly felt like I was registering for tags on my vehicle rather than discovering the miracle that is my baby. A nurse walked toward me prepared to take my blood. This time the common area had cleared, which at least helped me feel more calm. I still advised the nurse that my reaction to needles may involve cursing and even a right upper cut. Haha. She apparently did not find this as funny as I did. How do these people survive all day??! Another nurse however, heard how nervous I was becoming, I think my anxiety was probably also turning me a nice pale white by now. This nurse was probably the only positive experience regarding my whole day at the DMV. She squatted down, introduced herself to me and asked me to follow her into a private room. I was asked to take a few deep breath while she laid me down,  dimmed the lights and stroked my arm...now this is what I was looking for! A little love please...is that so much to ask? After my blood was taken, I thanked her and made my way out, all while making sure to avoid scheduling another visit. My mind raced as I headed toward the car,  the idea of having to undergo this kind of treatment over and over again for 9 agonizing months seemed unbearable. Do women really tolerate this? I mean the office was filled with women who seemed to think so. I think I might need to do a little research and find another office, maybe it was just a poor executed gynecology office, either way... the DMV just isn't a place for me.