Monday, February 27, 2012

A tent in the woods, where are the hippies?


So a friend recently advised me that maybe I would be interested in speaking with her Doula after learning that she just gave birth to her first child naturally. My first question was, what is a Doula? Was this some sort of hippie thing that I haven't had the privilege of learning about? I mean when I hear that a woman has had natural birth, or given birth at home or at a birth center the first thing that comes to mind is a tent in the woods, a bonfire, and someone holding the new born in the air under the moonlight. 



HA. I know a little crazy, but honestly that is where my mind goes when you spend your life understanding pregnancy only works one way. Hospital + Epidural = Baby. 

Of course I didn't say this outloud, these thoughts all happen in my head while the rest of me smiles and nods in appreciation for the info. Since I am on a quest to learn as much as I can about my options I decided I wanted to speak to this so called Doula. I mean, what could it hurt? I still haven't exactly decided on my birth plan.

I started to do some research on what exactly a Doula is and their role during pregnancy before making the call. I don't want to sound completely dumbfounded. Come to find, Doula's have actually existed for centuries. Though, they may not have always been called by this name. These women believe that helping  other women during pregnancy and labor while also attending to the mother and child after birth would help establish the new mother from pregnancy to motherhood. This role included having someone who is familiar with what is going on with your body during pregnancy, what to expect during labor and give both comfort and support during the entire process. 

Modern day movies and television have given us the idea that the husband or partner is our coach or support team. haha. I can see why that is so funny. How many husbands out there can actually handle hours of intense labor, be emotionally supportive and know exactly what to do? No offense, but most men catch a common cold and think they are barely going to survive unless we nurse them to health again. So I guess I never thought about that. I had no idea what to expect during labor so I never thought about having someone with me to help me along the way.

I made my phone call and I am pretty sure I sounded like the most uninformed first time mother she probably has ever spoken too. "Hi, yes...umm... I am about 19 weeks and I wanted to know if I could hire you for your...umm... Doula services?" I had no idea what I was looking for but I knew that I have not completely eliminated the idea of a pain free birth.  So my birth plan right now was to have this Doula at my side for comfort and support, while also seeking a hospital and getting an epidural. I wanted the best of both worlds. Someone to hold my hand basically while I was at the hospital. I am not even sure why I wanted a Doula except that it sounded like she would rub my back and bring me soothing things when I started feeling uncomfortable. More importantly, she would be my voice of reason to the doctor and nurses while I was in their care. 

The truth was, I had no idea what my voice of reason was. I didn't know what I wanted, or what kind of birth plan I was seeking. I didn't know anything except that I wanted to feel comforted through this entire pregnancy. Easier said than done. 

She really must have sensed my confusion and started to ask me several questions. How did I hear about her, and what were my intentions with the birth? Have I considered natural birth? Did I understand exactly what happened in a hospital and what kind of treatment is usually given? 

Hmmm...We'll..Yes? We'll...I mean..kind of? I am on this journey seeking these answers but they don't exactly jump out at you. She sent me to a few websites and asked me to review the information, take a day to think about it and then she would be in contact with me to discuss things from there. This was probably the best advice I have been given yet. She didn't push me to do anything I didn't want to do, she didn't scare me with facts or horrific stories, she simply guided me in the right direction and allowed me to generate my own thought process about my birth plan. 




My Life...One design at a time...

Between my timeline blogs I hope to post current things going on in our lives as well, since this blog was started at week 35 and I am basically backdating my thought process. Which brings me to...drum roll....my nursery and other artistic baby and non-baby related items! Because sharing is caring!  

My fiance and I consider ourselves pretty artistic people. We dab a little in everything. I keep telling my self that our daughter is going to think that she has the coolest parents in the world, especially when she is old enough to understand who Wonder woman and Captain America are (but I am sure I will find out she thinks otherwise) We hand painted Wonder Woman and Captain America on the walls when we started our Marvel/DC comic office.) Who said drawing on the walls was bad?! 

Oh, and here is a sneak peek at our current office.





Yes, this is where the magic of creativity happens. Okay, so we are a little dorky. Ha. We love it though. 

Oh, and I also hand paint children stools. I really am not sure why I started painting children's stools, especially since I did not have any kids of my own. I think I needed a gift idea for a good friend years ago and wanted to personalize it. Next thing I know and dozens of stools later, it just became a trademark. Nothing beats a personal one of kind gift in my opinion! I am considering making this some kind of business with other artistic items that we create... but who knows.





We have almost completed our nursery. We have added several elements since these pics were taken. We originally had no clue what we wanted to do. We really wanted to stay away from the typical cliche themes. The hardest part was trying to figure out what to do with a room that had BLUE carpet when having a daughter! Finally we decided that purple would match perfectly. I swear, I will never understand why when you have a baby girl everything has to be PINK. We searched so many stores for anything that was outside of pink and it was nearly impossible to find any other colors- without spending a ton of money.

I started to paint my version of a cherry blossom tree in the corner of the nursery. I then hand punched hydrangea flowers and pinned the actual flowers to the wall...and yes, this was extremely time consuming! 






We'll I just wanted to give a sneak peek at the nursery and other artistic things about my family. Thanks for checking it out!!

















Sunday, February 26, 2012

It's Delivery! Not DiGigiorno's!

I am actually really excited to write this blog. I feel like in the few short weeks of pregnancy, approximately 18 weeks now, I have discovered so much about what I wanted for my pregnancy and what was important to me. Things I never thought I would say or do all started to come full circle with this moment. 

 After several trips to the bookstore, I managed to build a collection of books on meditation, hypnosis and even some on just what to expect during this pregnancy. (Always good to just have a straight forward guide or reference in case your body starts do something you just didn't expect.) Which basically is the description of pregnancy! Meditation wasn't really working for me like I hoped. First, finding the time during the day to just sit and clear my mind while centering my Chakra was already difficult enough. If I had the ability to do any one of those items before I probably would have long before the pregnancy. Hypnosis was interesting, but I found myself learning more about how to hypnotize than actually becoming hypnotized. I can't say it was a complete failure for me. I did find a great way to fall asleep quickly, but none of the information seemed to really be sinking in or making me feel better. The reason behind these techniques was to help me deal with anxiety, mostly the labor part and also help me feel like I could really do this. I needed some confidence and I needed to feel like I was in control, no matter what my birth plan was. Which at this time was to just get through this without screaming, yelling and panicking! 

I started to go through my Netflix collection of online streaming documentaries. I remembering hearing about one documentary in particular that focused on birth and the hospital industry. 

"The Business of Being Born". 





I really had no idea on what to expect from this film and I am not one of those types that buys into the hype of things right away. This film was really nothing that I expected but everything I was looking for. Let me clarify that I didn't just think "Oh, I can totally do a natural labor and hospitals are horrible, let me get right on this!". The idea of natural labor still scared the crap out of me. Did you see the woman in the lobby screaming from the pain??! I mean this film didn't necessarily make it seem like it was suddenly any easier to handle the pain of labor and contractions. This was real work! What this film did show me was that I had options. I had a lot more options than anyone had advised me about, or frankly maybe even knew about. 

When we hear someone say they had natural labor the first reaction we give is "OMG, why?" The truth is why would anyone want to choose pain over modern science. I have to tell you that once you truly start to  investigate what happens during labor with your body and what side effects an epidural potentially has, it may change your mind. Now, I have had women tell me "We'll I went natural because I didn't want any drugs to be leaked to my unborn baby." I can respect that, but for me....that just wasn't my bottom line. Don't get me wrong, it is a great reason to avoid an epidural but I think I needed more. Personally, I felt like that wasn't a big enough risk in order for me to avoid a painless child birth. I mean, I have had numerous-basically all of my friends with children, had taken this route. So why wasn't I just following their lead?

I really recommend anyone who is going through pregnancy to view all sides and all options. This was just a start for me. This film provided a great deal of information that I otherwise would have never known about. It doesn't mean that I don't think a hospital is a proper place to for child birth, and certainly doesn't mean I am now on the mission for a home birth. It just means I have options that I am going to explore.

On yet again, another mission!





If you have seen this documentary and have a review, I would love to hear about it. I want to know how other women perceived this film. I would also love to hear from mom's who have had hospital and non-traditional birth experiences, how was it? Would you do things the same way again?











Thursday, February 23, 2012

"O...Oh My!"

Welcome to Orgasmic Birth | Orgasmic Birth:


When they say this is the best kept secret, they really are not kidding. I have never even heard of this or heard of anyone else talking about this until I stumbled across it on YouTube by accident. Don't ask how that happens. So the idea is that the same muscles that are used to create an orgasm are also the same muscles that are used during child labor. So if you can completely eliminate the idea of fear and pain, you might just be able to have a pain free and even orgasmic child birth. It is all about connecting with your body and your partner. 

The reason I decided to blog about this was because this was initially how I began my journey into a totally different direction. The treatment I had already received from traditional medicine was alarming and very emotionally disconnected. I felt as if this would be a  time in my life when I should be pampered and handled with care, instead I was being prodded, poked and herded like a cow. I might as well have been tagged with a number and put with the other pregnant women till I was ready to deliver. 

Okay, so orgasmic birth does seem a bit extreme, maybe even a little too granola or organic for someone like me. I mean I don't necessarily live my life by the standards of a tree huger, or reduce reuse and recycle as much as I could...but  something about this seemed...normal.

I wanted to know more about these women. How were they able to deliver a baby with no medicine, no hospital care in some cases, and all with a smile? Could it really be luck or did this women do something different? I got on Netflix and I searched for this documentary determined to seek some answers.  

The documentary was actually pretty interesting and at times a little bit uncomfortable.  In the sense I felt like maybe I should have kept my eyes closed because some of these women were really getting into it with their spouses. With all the Ooohhh's and Ahhhh's coming from my office, my fiance popped his head in just to see exactly what I was watching. Sorry to disappoint honey, it is just an orgasmic birth. haha. 

Even so it was enough to catch his attention and before we knew it, we were both watching these women give birth in this candle lite, soothing almost sensual environment. There was no screaming, cursing or panicked mother and father frantically trying to figure out what to do once the water broke. These couples were embracing the moment, in almost the same way it was created. With pure love and affection. 

It really changed my mind about a few things. I felt like if these women could do this, LIKE THIS..then I wanted in! Sign me up, tell me where to go and what to do, because this was the experience I was looking for. So where does one go to find more info about this? I mean I was surprised I even found this much? I started hitting search engines on yet another mission to find out more. Orgasmic birth, here I come. Literally. 











HypnoTherapy in Hollywood


    I read an article about Jessica Alba and her experience with giving birth. I think after some of my recent adventures I am on a mission to find out what everyone else is doing. Her article really caught my attention. She mentioned that she studied hypnosis during her pregnancy to help her deal with pain! Okay, so I always got the power of suggestion and read tons of books on thinking positive equals positive results...but could this really work? I think I started picturing my self finding a hypnotist, sitting in front of him while he dangled a shiny object on a chain back and forth..."Your getting sleepy....very sleepy." Haha. Isn't that how it goes? 
    
Not sure that is exactly what she meant. Actually the more I am researching this the more I am finding that it is more of an awake hypnosis done through the power of suggestion. Apparently, this kind of "hypnotherapy" is very effective for those trying to quit smoking, losing weight, or just giving them control over something they otherwise may have not had. Suddenly Patrick Swayze comes to mind in Roadhouse, "Pain don't hurt." Is that what he meant? The mind is more powerful than the body? Hmmm...Not sure I am completely convinced just yet. 
   So I find myself venturing down this unknown road. Now I am sitting on the bookstore floor with a stack of miscellaneous books circling me. I mean, where better to discover more information than your local bookstore floor with a yummy caffeine-free beverage and pastry? At least this part felt right.  
    I collected books on pregnancy, what to expect during pregnancy, hypnosis,  meditation, and whatever else seemed to call out to me. Oh, and of course there are several variations of each category. Over whelming much?! Where do I begin? What am I even looking for?     Most of the books on pregnancy or what to expect during pregnancy are medical inclined.
When to see a doctor, what to expect during certain trimesters, and let's not forget, there will be pain. Gee, thanks. I can't seem to escape that point! It was almost like listening to my family give me advice but with a more straight forward approach and less blood. Still...not finding any comfort there. 
    I moved on to the pile of comedy pregnancy books. Now these seemed more my style. Reading about Jenny McCarthy and her approach to pregnancy was like listening to my girlfriend joke about her swelling feet and attempt at sex with a basketball under her shirt. I actually thumbed through a great deal of this book just as a sigh of relief that this could be humorous even if unpleasant. Again, this still didn't seem to be what I was looking for. 
   So now onto meditation. I have been wanting to do meditation for sometime now, and I have always heard great things about it. Maybe this would help me with the anxiety of pregnancy. I flipped through a few variations until I found one that seemed simple and easy to follow. I think I found what I was looking for, at least for now. Time to head home and get my Chakras aligned. hehe. This may not be the answer, but at least it feels like a start to relieving some of the anxiety I am feeling. :) 
   



Wednesday, February 22, 2012

DMV (Department of Mistreated Vajayjay's)


      So after the initial confirmation of several pregnancy tests, it was time to make my first official OBGYN appointment to find out just how far along I was. Seemed easy enough. So just like any other unknown, I asked some friends for referrals that had similar insurance coverage as myself. It would be safe to assume that my friends who had children probably would be able to provide the best information....HA! The first two places I called didn't want to see me because they said unless I was at least a certain amount of weeks, they couldn't book me. Umm...isn't that what I am trying to figure out? So I finally just picked one randomly. I think I could have pinned a random selection on the wall, blindfolded myself,  played pin the tail on the gynecologist and  found a better choice than the one I was about to experience. 
     I walked into the doctor office with a waiting room full of women, some with babies, some whom looked ready to deliver right then and there, and some who just looked dazed and confused. I apparently was in the right place. I filled out my initial paperwork and was called into the back. Now I think in most cases it would be safe to assume I would be taken into a private room, questioned by a nice and caring nurse (as this was a special time in my life) and then have my vitals checked before seeing the doctor. Instead I was seated in a general "common" area where other women were having their blood drawn, vitals taken and a decorative line of pee filled cups strewn the counter tops. A rather heavy set nurse approached me, handed me a cup and pointed to the restroom. Sigh! So warm and welcoming already!
 Once returning back to the "common area" I waited as a second nurse, who also failed to introduce herself started to take my vitals. Now for me, needles are not really my fondest moment. I like to know when one is coming, who is going to be using the weapon against me, and I like to have to time to get acclimated with the idea that part of my internals are going to be on the external. I know, I am a little extreme when it comes to blood being drawn. I could tell this nurse was going for the all the usual suspects... alcohol...check...cotton swab...check...rubber band...check. Before she even reached for the fresh needle packet I asked her "Do you need to take my blood today, and right here? Can I at least go into a private room?" 
The constant traffic back and forth, not to mention the eyes glaring around the room were already putting me on edge. 
"No mam, and if you don't like needles you better get used to them now because you will have your blood drawn a lot during pregnancy."  
   What?! No one warned me about this part! I must have called upon the God's on this day because the nurse was suddenly approached by another nurse who instructed her of a patient who needed assistance. I was instructed to sit back in the waiting room for a few more minutes. YES!! This was my time to escape. Don't think the idea didn't cross my mind but I hesitantly decided to wait, I needed to get this over with and then I could just find another office. I was called back into the patient area within a few minutes, this time to be escorted into a private room. Maybe they saw the panic in my eyes and read my mind! I was told to change into my paper napkin gown and the doctor would be in shortly. Once I was stripped down, sitting on the infamous crinkle paper bed with my stylish napkin top and skirt on, the doctor came in, introduced herself and wasted no time in getting me set up for my cervical exam. Oh, Goodie. She hasn't even bought me dinner or asked me out for a cocktail and I am about to let her explore the goods. Let me just put this short and sweet, it wasn't all unicorns and glitter and very uncomfortable...but I do have to say she was finished very quickly. She advised me I could change back into my clothing just before exiting the door, to which I got a half turn back "Oh did you have any questions?" Ummm..no? I was so thrown off by the lack of care or concern I didn't even know if I had questions. Of course I had questions, I had millions of questions but obviously, this wasn't the place to answer them. 
    After regaining my composure I then proceeded back to the common area. I swear it feels like they should be handing out numbers while a digital screen calls you to the next nurse. I truly felt like I was registering for tags on my vehicle rather than discovering the miracle that is my baby. A nurse walked toward me prepared to take my blood. This time the common area had cleared, which at least helped me feel more calm. I still advised the nurse that my reaction to needles may involve cursing and even a right upper cut. Haha. She apparently did not find this as funny as I did. How do these people survive all day??! Another nurse however, heard how nervous I was becoming, I think my anxiety was probably also turning me a nice pale white by now. This nurse was probably the only positive experience regarding my whole day at the DMV. She squatted down, introduced herself to me and asked me to follow her into a private room. I was asked to take a few deep breath while she laid me down,  dimmed the lights and stroked my arm...now this is what I was looking for! A little love please...is that so much to ask? After my blood was taken, I thanked her and made my way out, all while making sure to avoid scheduling another visit. My mind raced as I headed toward the car,  the idea of having to undergo this kind of treatment over and over again for 9 agonizing months seemed unbearable. Do women really tolerate this? I mean the office was filled with women who seemed to think so. I think I might need to do a little research and find another office, maybe it was just a poor executed gynecology office, either way... the DMV just isn't a place for me. 


Vagina Wars





Why is it when women become pregnant for the first time everyone you know wants to tell you the most horrific story they possibly can about will happen to your body and how destructive, gruesome, agonizing, and painful it all was. This of course all up until the point where the epidural was given. Oh, but no worries, it only feels like a hot poker in your spine?! Gee, I sure look forward to this. I feel like my vagina is about to enter WWIII and it may not come out, or with some severe casualties, but it is okay because it was all worth the cause. I am trying to focus on the one story I heard from a girlfriend well before my pregnancy days...she had her first baby and basically exhaled the child out in the hospital and was walking around within hours with no repercussions of said epidural. Just to shrug off any the hype that she had been informed of during her pre-labor days..did I mention her baby was 10lbs? So if one story like this can make it to my ears, how come I am not hearing more? Should I start a statics on vagina wars? Maybe I need a casualty count. (Ha). Or how about the story of a friend of a friend who tore so bad she needed 13 stitches? How does that happen? Does it happen often? I mean, I think every girl feels like she has the best kept vajayjay right? Is there something I missed during Sex Ed. that would have helped me understand this situation better? I think I might have saw it in a passing porno once...eww...maybe not. So now I need to figure out what really is the best advice to follow? In my head all I keep visualizing is the this woman screaming in agony as she is wheel chaired down the hospital hall, cursing at her husband for allowing her to go through this.   Yet, I have never seen this before during any visits to the hospital in my lifetime. Maybe they hide these women in a separate wing for a reason! haha. I think we all know it doesn't really happen like this, but what about the woman who don't? During my pregnancy as I have become more educated on what will happen and what will not, I am also learning that there are so many women out there who still have these ideals and fears. Why are we not sharing more positive information instead of theses horrific vajayjay war stories! I plan to do just that...ladies, the war is over and I lived to tell about it. 



Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The not so typical, typical.

     


I decided to start blogging as an outlet for my need to constantly drone on about the new discoveries I am making during my pregnancy. It started with the normal "Oh Sh*t, I am pregnant!" The point where everything you think you know, heard or saw on T.V somewhere starts to make its way back into your brain. Then somewhere after the soon-to-be baby news has been passed around to family and friends, you now have the vagina war stories of what is going to happen and how horrible it will all be...Oh, but it's okay, because it is all going to be worth it. I mean after hearing that my lady bits are going to drop, sag, rip, tear and bleed to death all by this monumental occasion, the idea that a precious child is going to erase all of this, makes it so much more soothing right? I get it. I mean a baby is the most life changing experience I will have and the moment I will look into his or her eyes, it will change everything, but is this really how it all happens? So I started off like everyone else, in the typical way (OBGYN visit, searching for the best hospital, can I get an epidural with a tattoo?) All to end up in a not so typical place. 


  In my blogs I hope to share the ups, downs and overall crazy adventure I went through to learn more about myself and my pregnancy. Currently I am 35 weeks and excited about how far I have come. I hope that my blog will help some other first time pregnancy, laugh a little more, relax a little more and maybe even give her some insight on just what to expect when expecting.